i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
