i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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