Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
