I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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