sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
