I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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