WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
