She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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