You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
