so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE