So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
