you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
