Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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