who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
we're so committed to being not committed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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