shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
