Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
