this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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