I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
