I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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