is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
