Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
