No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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