dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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