If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize