i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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