Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
