You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
