before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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