I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
