He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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