It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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