I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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