dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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