I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
bring money and cleavage
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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