ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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