She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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