Your face is a jimmy john
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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