I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
