you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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