I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
