We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
