if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize