i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
