this just has baby written all over it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
