'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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