I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
