he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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