I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
