Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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