LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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