very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
