i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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