The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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