ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
