I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
