how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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