Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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