I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize