Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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